When Dreams Came True and Were Endless*

There’s always going to be a reason “not to”.

To stop.

To Turn away.

Not begin.

To Stop.

Wait ——

You’re Not alone.

You’re NOT alone.

“Only if you choose to be”

Sometimes it’s easier to be.

In my misery it’s easier to be.

It’s a high cry.

It’s a low sigh.

Don’t Stop.

Turn back around.

Begin again.

Don’t Wait.

Choose to move forward.

You’re NOT alone.


Can you hear me?

black sheep

Screw posting this on my wall for ONE day…Id post this on my wall for a lifetime until just ONE PERSON gets it – Gets it that its not about them – its about the person whose suffering with this illness. You call it selfish the way we, who… have mental illness act – Well, Ill be brutally honest with you – I call it exhausting, lonely, embarrassing and isolating. And, I also know that most of us who have a mental illness – the one thing that we do pride ourselves in – and try extremely hard at ….IS: trying NOT to be a burden on those we love and those who love US. We are just taught and learn that we cannot love others until we learn to love ourselves. And, if you call that selfish – then I believe there is something wrong with YOU. I believe that is one of the most SELF-LESS actions any one person can do for themselves and/or anyone close to them. When we isolate, want to be alone, or need to “remove ourselves from as situation” its because we become overwhelmed with something that may have triggered us I.E. : reminded us of something that has happened to us in the past – that has caused a trauma or bad memory. We don’t do this on purpose, to cause a fight, cause a scene, attempt to attract attention, OR be a drama queen or king. AND YES FOR FUCKS SAKE we took our meds, we didn’t miss a dose and if we didn’t…its none of your fucking business! Worry about yourself. Some of you act like we belong In the high towers of castles, hidden deep away from civilization. Did you know that years ago that’s what they did to children born with downs syndrome, children who had seizures, autism, “imaginary friends”, or who “acted different”, odd or not up to societies standards. That is where “Gargoyles” originated from – In England and the U.K. Families who owned large homes, would have these made as tradition told – that when a woman bore a child of mental illness of any kind, that child wasn’t to be spoken of and banished. To keep the child from suffering any bullying or the pain that they would endure back those so many years ago – Their parents would put these children …Children, and young adults like me, others like me and so many others that I know like me – into rooms far a top their homes – and have Gargoyles made  and places on their homes for protection from evil. Many people then associated Gargoyles with evil themselves. Because of what they stood for …instead of knowing the full story … so, again..this stigma started years ago – Eons ago. I guess my point is – We’ve come far in the Mental Illness field. Im so blessed to be studying in it. I always knew I was different..Most of the time I didn’t mind it. I tried to make the best of it. Tried to enjoy the manic highs..but, always knew they wouldn’t last for very long, and shortly after followed the manic lows. Which consisted of very sad days, angered moments and deep, unexplained loneliness that was mostly shrugged off and pacified with “Just get over it” I wish it had been that easy. Im not saying that we need to be babied. No one wants that. Trust me. No one wants to be walked about around on Egg Shells either. If you have a question ask it. But, don’t pretend to like us because we’re different.  Don’t dislike us because we are either. Give us a chance to show you who we are without being judged for someone out of our control. We cant help our emotions no more than I can help having Diabetes Or James Taylor can help being an awesome Singer/Songwriter. Thank you to my friend, Mandee for posting this on my FB. This is One of the many reasons I love you so much ..and surround myself with friends just like you – Aside from the fact that you are one of a kind..always will be, You are 100% real, never throw stones, are truthful, loyal and genuine. I don’t have to worry about anything Id ever say or do being thrown in my face 8 months later – after you hugged me tomorrow for being proud of me and a great person. Being confused by emotion and idiotic two-faced people isn’t fun for me – and I don’t understand it – especially when it happens and those people don’t take responsibility for their actions – I guess they expect that everyone will believe their stories because ..well, afterall – Us, Crazy people…are….Well, Fuckin Crazy! – Love and Hugs x0x

Land of Confusion.

I awoke this morning in a fog..I awoke this morning like a log.. Kinda feeling and sounding like Dr. Seuss you say? Maybe so..May I go lay? I just want it all to fall into place..Just one day ..Just one damn day. No more confusion, just cle…ar eyes. May I borrow yours for just today? I’d share mine with you, but, what you’d see, I’m not sure you’d get..A lot of confusion and beauty within. Some people speak of odd and strange. Some accept you while you’re in front of them ..then wait to unglue. I don’t need those people in my life, I demand. I don’t want you people in my strange land. Please leave me alone ..in my sad, hollow solace. I’ve never asked you to be here – You were intrigued by my deep malice. Drop your stone you want to cast towards my brain..Ive hurt myself enough throughout this whole day. Your words and pain mean much more than I care to admit..But, openly I’ll just say – “I don’t care” and walk away … as tears fall inside my heart – I’ll show you no fame. You’re high above in your castle looking below – you once was my idol – my equal, my soul. Your laugh, I treasured, I honored – I needed. Now, I detest who I feel I’ve become you. It isn’t my fault what I had or was given..You say “let it go” .. use your own words and follow. I’m not your scapegoat, I am not your ghost. Sooner than later – you’ll realize its all been an illusion. Ive spent a lifetime searching for something that’s missing..the acceptance I felt was within you then found it. It wasn’t you who removed it or took it away – it was those who were around you – that felt they were better. I don’t blame them, or hate..It saddens me more. Saddens me only because in the blink of an eye you’re missing a beautiful mind. DarcyJeanJan8.2014See More

The Last Breath


In this world of change, sadness and violence. It is easy to lose concentration of the simpler times and things that are important.

It is easy to find ourselves complaining about things that at one time never really mattered that much to us or consumed so much of our time.

We can get sucked into drama, wrapped up into the negative and surrounded by darkness.

What are your feelings about dealing with stress and/or anxiety?

When you feel like giving up, do you isolate or do you find solace in a special place or with a special person OR do you find yourself a nuisance to those around you?

Remember [on a side note-from me to you] You’re stronger than you think and You’re not alone 🙂

Love and Hugs x0x